Always tell the truth

By Alex The Builder

21 december 2024

Success in Construction and Wrestling With Chaos

Success in construction, to me, was always about how good you are at bringing order to a chaotic environment. After all, our potential as a human species lies in a particular paradox: it’s our willingness to wrestle with truths, to find meaning in the chaos.

Today’s Chaos: Not a new Lesson

My chaos of the day? The guy from the pine mill lied to me and delivered shit lumber. No wonder he demanded full payment upfront before production, claiming, “I’m a small business and can’t afford payment delays.” The truth should have been: I won’t honor our verbal contract and will deliver you subgrade lumber.

What arrived was a disaster. 25% of the planks are throwaway lumber—split in half or with fist-sized knot holes. Another 25% is blue as hell because they let the logs bake in the heat before cutting them (the blue stain was supposed to disappear with planning, but no luck). Returning it? Not an option. With this guy, I was just “another difficult customer.”

As an experienced builder, I should’ve known better. Upfront cash? That’s usually a red flag: Trades lie all the time. Worse, upfront payments often rhyme with unreliability. In my ego’s defense, he came recommended by a good friend, and I wanted to support a local small business. Lesson learned, again.

Truth and Its Nature

But what exactly is truth? Is it a universal, unwavering principle, like the laws of physics, or is it a subjective experience shaped by perception? This is a question that, over time, has made me more and more uncertain about the absolutes of life. I once believed that truth was something fixed, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe truth is a pursuit more than a destination.

When I think about it, truth feels like a dance between perspectives. There’s the objective truth—the universal laws that govern the universe, the fundamental principles that remain constant through time. These truths may exist, hidden in the fabric of existence, but they are often obscured by the limitations of our personal experiences. It is in the tension between the objective and subjective that we begin to grow.

Truth can feel elusive. It shifts depending on where you stand, who you are, and what you’ve experienced. It can be uncomfortable, even painful. But pain is part of the process, the forging of something more authentic. It's through the friction between different truths—our own and others’—that we grow. Through these challenges, we get closer to understanding, and perhaps to wisdom.

The Pain and Liberation of Truth.

Truth hurts. It’s uncomfortable. It forces us to confront our mistakes, our weaknesses, and the illusions we cling to. But it’s also liberating. Truth clears the path forward, cutting through the fog of deception and misunderstanding.

Take Socrates, the warrior-philosopher. He lived and died by the principle of truth, challenging the status quo and forcing others to question their beliefs. His unwavering commitment to truth, even in the face of death, is a reminder that silence in the face of deception is complicity. Lies, whether spoken or withheld, breed chaos and destruction.  Think about the full realization of the socialist enterprise under Mao, Stalin and Hitler, normal people were afraid to tell the truth and the rest his history.  Yet, when we look at our situation in our western civilization, history seems to repeat itself again…

In my own life, I’ve seen the power of truth to transform. When I told a friend that his business plan needed a complete overhaul, it wasn’t easy. It hurt his pride, but it ultimately led him to success. When I told a client that their design idea wouldn’t work, it wasn’t what they wanted to hear, but it was what they needed.

Truth is rarely comfortable, but it is always necessary.

The Friction of Opposing Truths

This is why contrasting truths are essential to the human experience. When our truths are challenged, we are given the opportunity to evolve. These challenges force us to re-evaluate, to stretch our perspectives, and to see things from a broader view. The discomfort that comes from facing opposing truths is where empathy and growth are born.

In my life, I’ve often found myself at odds with others over what seemed to be truth. We’ve all had those moments when someone else’s truth clashes with our own, and we feel irritation or frustration, sometimes even anger. But it is in those moments that the real work begins. I’ve learned that when I resist my initial irritation and truly listen.  It pushes me to reevaluate my beliefs, to understand the other person’s perspective a more refined truth emerges—sometimes shifting my viewpoint, sometimes expanding it.

Truth is a journey, not a destination. It’s not just about finding the right answer; it’s about the process of seeking and becoming. It’s the willingness to be uncomfortable with uncertainty and to keep moving forward with that discomfort, trusting that it will lead us to something deeper.

Truth in Building and Relationships

I prefer to work for a set fee, so my financial gain doesn’t depend on the decisions we make together. This allows me to focus on what truly matters: creating a home that reflects their vision, their values, and their truth.

I’ve always believed that if you’re upfront with a client, you can avoid building on lies. Whether that’s in addressing their concerns, acknowledging a flaw in the plan, or pointing out when their expectations may be unrealistic, honesty is what holds the project together. I’ve worked with clients where we argued over details, where they pushed for one thing, and I disagreed. But at the end of the day, that truth-telling process is what creates the best outcome. It’s not about my ego or my preferences—it’s about serving their vision in the most honest and effective way possible.

Collaboration thrives on honesty. It’s through the friction of ideas, the challenging of assumptions, that the best solutions emerge. Together, we can create something greater than either of us could imagine alone. 

Even when the truth might be uncomfortable, even when it might mean losing a contract or alienating someone, it is always worth it. Telling the truth is an investment in something far greater than the immediate reward—it’s an investment in lasting, meaningful creation.

The Cost of Truth

Of course, telling the truth is not always easy. It’s hard to admit when we’re wrong, when we’ve failed, when we’ve misunderstood someone else’s point of view. And sometimes, truth feels like it has a price. Relationships can fracture when we speak the truth, and people can get hurt. But the alternative, a life lived without truth, is far more dangerous. It breeds resentment, mistrust, and disconnection.

I look back at my own journey, and I see how telling the truth—whether it’s with clients, friends, or even myself—has shaped who I am. It’s not always been comfortable, but it’s always been worth it.

It’s easier to lie, to smooth things over, to avoid conflict. But that’s not the path to greatness, either in construction or in life. The path to greatness lies in unwavering honesty, in facing what’s uncomfortable, and in continually striving to get closer to the truth, no matter how painful that might be.

Conclusion

Telling the truth, even when it hurts, is the highest form of service—service to ourselves, to others, and to the work we create. It’s the bedrock on which everything else stands.

As for my shit lumber, I’ll do what I do best; make a great lemonade out of crappy lemon!